The Lie
by Feefella
Summary: It's the hardest thing Dimitri has ever had to do... ... Last two chapters of VA from Dimitri's POV


**A/N: Well I have hit a wall with my actual book I am writing so that means... It's time for a _new fanfic_!! This one is the last two chapters of Vampire Academy. **

**And I want to take this moment to thank all of you for the nice comments! You don't know how much of a compliment it is to hear that it sounds like it is part of the books! They are wonderful motivators, guys, you don't even know! And also... I _will_ be doing at least two one shots from Frostbite and at least two from Shadow Kiss. All from Dimitri's POV! I just don't know when I will have time to do it becuase like I said I am working on a book right now... and I am getting chewed out for not finishing it.**

**The Characters and Plot are Richelle Meads! Just the thoughts are mine!**

**Okay onto buisness!**

****Update** So after a comment about quite a few mistakes I decided to go back and look over my fic... I then realized a lot had gotten screwed up when I uploaded the document! Soooo I fixed what I noticed... and please if you see mistakes tell me _where_ they are... so I can fix them! Thanks!**

* * *

I hadn't visited her at all during her recovery. I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I couldn't be with her. To lie and say it meant nothing, that _she_ meant nothing.

I punched the bag in front of me with more intensity than I knew myself capable of. The bag flew across the gym on its cord and bounced off the wall. The sound should have caused someone to come to investigate.

No one came, and I knew I was truly alone.

I had suspended my practices with Rose indefinitely. I couldn't look at her without feeling that gut wrenching pain from the realization that I would never be with Rosemarie Hathaway. I walked across the room to retrieve the punching bag and placed it back in its earlier position. Then the assault on the bag resumed, and images washed over me, fueling the fire within.

_Her face._

_Her eyes._

_Her body._

_Her hands._

The bag flew across the room again. Instead of retrieving it again, I left it there and sank down onto the matted floor, burring my face in my hands. This was my own personal hell. Not even the memory of my first kill haunted me as badly as the memory of Rose and me together. I hadn't seen her face in four days now, but every memory was as fresh as the night it happened. I wanted to leave Rose and this school all behind and be myself again.

I was strong.

I was focused.

I was a damn good guardian.

I was. But then I met Rose and I didn't recognize myself anymore. I had to do something. I stood up and gathered my things quickly, finally knowing what needed to be done. And suddenly she was there, like she had heard me calling her name. Rose stood there not saying a word, with a strange expression on her face. I tried not to care; tried to just walk past her, but I couldn't. I stopped and tried to think of something to say to make this all okay again.

"Rose…" I began after moments of awkward silence; my mind finally being made up. "You need to report what happened. With us."

A look of shock passed through her features as she struggled for words. "I can't do that," she finally said. "They'll fire you. Or worse."

"They should fire me. What I did was wrong."

"You couldn't help it. It was the spell…"

"It doesn't matter. It was wrong. And stupid."

I could see that my words had been knives. And she was trying to pretend that the gashes didn't hurt. I could feel pieces of my heat ripping away as she tried to compose herself.

"Look," she said, her voice shaking a bit, "It's not a big deal."

"It _is_ a big deal! I took advantage of you."

"No." Her voice was even. "You didn't."

She didn't understand. She thought this… this… _thing_ that had happened was between two mature individuals. She couldn't see the bigger picture. The issues, the consequences. I had to make her understand.

"Rose, I am seven years older than you. In ten years, that wont mean so much, but for now, it's huge. I'm an adult. You're a child."

She flinched at the last word as I knew she would. Each word had a meaning. She needed to understand how the world viewed her, even if _I_ didn't see her that way.

Suddenly she set her features and looked at me. "You didn't seem to thing I was a child when you were all over me."

Now it was my turn to flinch. I never seemed to be ready for her verbal blows the way I was always ready for her physical ones. I recovered quickly. "Just because your body… well, that doesn't make you an adult." I took it farther, driving my point home. "We're in two different places. I've been out in the world. I've been on my own. I've killed, Rose - _people_, not animals. And you… you're just starting out. You're life is about homework and clothes and dances."

"Is that all you think I care about?"

"No of course not. Not entirely. But it's all part of your world. You're still growing up and figuring out who you are and what's important. You need to keep doing that. You need to be with boys your own age." The last statement had killed me to say. I didn't want her to be with other boys at all. I was a selfish, sad excuse for a man.

"Even if you choose not to tell, you need to understand that it _was a mistake_. And it isn't ever going to happen again."

"Because you're too old for me? Because it isn't responsible?" She was trying to pick a fight. She was trying to hold on.

I took that last step and felt my heart die completely. "No. Because I'm just not interested in you in that way."She stood there, staring at me, fighting to keep the pain from showing. But she was young and wasn't as skilled as I was at hiding the pain.

"It only happened because of the spell." My voice was calm. "Do you understand."

Her face went blank. Maybe she was as skilled as me. "Yeah. Understood."

* * *

I didn't sleep at all that night. I just kept replaying the conversation with Rose in my head. I kept seeing her face, devoid of all emotion as she said those last two words to me.

_Yeah. Understood._

I walked the perimeter of the school for the third time, feeling completely numb to everything around me. This was it. Either she would report me and I would be fired. Or she would say nothing and we would pretend that we both had forgotten what had happened. Either way, we were both just pretending. I was pretending I didn't want her and she was pretending I hadn't hurt her. Maybe it would had been better for everyone if I had just left when I felt myself getting attached to her. Life was made of what ifs, and I couldn't dwell on them. I could only move forward from this point.

I walked back into the school and stopped. Something was off. I looked around momentarily trying to identify what had put me on edge. That's when I noticed the blood on the ground. It was a small spot, but to a guardian, it was a giant red flag that something was out of place. The blood was right in front of the Slavic Arts classroom.

From the second I noticed the blood I had not thought about my own personal problems. I was a trained guardian, assessing the situation. I opened the door to the classroom slowly, not knowing what to expect, but anticipating every possible scenario.

The Slavic Arts teacher, Mr. Nagy, was crumpled on the floor, dead. As the culprit became clear, I found myself sprinting out of the classroom, and out of the building toward the detention area. I couldn't have told another living being how I knew who it was, I just knew. I ran as fast as I could and dashed through the doors or the detention area.

The two guardians who were supposed to be guarding Victor Dashkov were on the floor. I couldn't afford to stop and check to see if they were still alive. As I rounded the corner I saw Natalie Dashkov throw Rose against the wall. She fell into a pitiful heap and I knew she wouldn't be getting up.

_No._

_Not her!_

I charged down the hall, determined to kill the Strigoi before Rose could die.

I dodged her initial attack, darting to the side and out of her grasp. She looked at me, slightly stunned. Since becoming a Strigoi she had only taken on four people, and none of them had been too difficult to dispatch. I was far more aware of the area around me than anyone she had come up against so far, and I knew I could take her down in a timely fashion. The fight seemed to last quite a few steps and went on far too long for my comfort. Though she was Strigoi and much stronger than I was, she was new and didn't know quite how to use her strength. I dodged her last blow and plunged the stake I had pulled from my coat into her heart.

I ignored her screams, and remained unmoving until I was sure she was dead. Then I quickly scooped up Rose in my arms. I had to get her to the clinic before she bled internally from the wounds she had obtained from her dance with Natalie.

"Hey, Comrade," she murmured, her voice growing tired. "You were right about Strigoi." Her eyes began to close, and my breathing caught.

"Rose. Roza. Open your eyes." I was almost shaking her. "Don't go to sleep on me. Not yet."

She squinted up at me as I rushed out of the building, almost running for the clinic. "Was he right?" she voice was beginning to sound hallow. I needed her to keep talking, to keep her awake.

"Who?"

"Victor… he said it couldn't have worked. The necklace." Her eyes began to droop again and then closed and I had to bounce her slightly to get her to open her eyes again.

"What do you mean?"

"The spell. Victor said you had to want me… to care about me… for it to work." I couldn't speak. If she died right now in my arms I would die with her. She was here half gone, calling me out on my lies. Her fingers grasped pathetically at my shirt. "Did you?" She continued, "Did you want me?"

"Yes, Roza," I answered, emotion dripping from each word. I could see the clinic. "I did want you. I still do. I wish… we could be together."

"Then why did you lie?" she asked. I was going to answer but we had reached the clinic finally and the second I was inside. I began yelling for someone to come help.

"Why did you lie?" She asked again. I wanted to laugh. Even on the brink of death she was still to stubborn to let this go. I looked down into her glorious eyes. I didn't want to break her heart again.

"Because we can't be together."

"Because of the age thing right?" she asked, tears in her eyes. "Because you're my mentor?"

As a tear rolled down her already bruising cheek, I wiped it away. I could hear footsteps faintly. "That's part of it," I said, trying not to let my voice crack. "But also… well, you and I will both be Lissa's guardians someday. I need to protect her at all costs. If a pack of Strigoi come, I need to throw my body between them and her."

"I know that. Of course that's what you have to do." Her voice was fading and her blinking became slower. She didn't understand how much I cared for her.

"No. If I let myself love you, I wont throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you."

She looked like she was finally beginning to understand what I was saying, but before she could say anything the medical team arrived and took her from my arm.

I watched them take her away and hoped like hell they weren't too late.

* * *

**_Let me know what you think!_**


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